Last vestiges of youth
First I said goodbye to my thrift store clothing (well, most of it), then I moved on from my Doc Marten's (replaced by Clark's, another English brand at least), I don't wear any rings except my wedding and engagement rings, I only wear two earrings - one in each ear - as opposed to the 8 I think I had at one time and today, sadly, I said goodbye to my bellybutton ring. I got my bellybutton pierced on the same day I took my last final exam my senior year of college. It was May 1996. It was my celebratory act, my mark that said "I'm a grown-up and can do what I want". It was also a way for me to reclaim the landscape of my belly that had been marred by a giant scar thanks to a sick fuck who thought it might be fun to rape and kill a girl. Now, 10 years later, I really am a grown-up, sort of. I'm married, I've got a kid on the way, I worry about our retirement fund and last night, when I couldn't sleep, I started thinking about life insurance. As my tummy gets bigger, the piercing was becoming less and less attractive and I have heard tales of some nasty stretching that can happen. Besides, if I end up needing a c-section they will just take it out anyway. So, 30 seconds and $5 later, my ring was out (I tried to do it myself and couldn't). My belly looks so forlorn. I'm mourning the passing of the chapter of my life that ring represents, but I'm also celebrating the reason for its removal.
In another funny pregnancy moment, I passed a homeless guys asking for change this morning. He was asking everyone who walked past and he asked me but then got a good look at me and said "Oh, sorry. You have a nice day." So funny.
posted by Clare Jane at 12:43 PM
3 Comments:
Crazy isn't it? I remember when I realized how much I love my pregnancy stretch marks, a personal mark of passage. I still love them. When women complain about their post pregnancy bellies, I just pat mine and remember that the kid is so much cooler than a flat perfect belly, at least to me.
You've been through so much, Clare. You are going to be a classy, strong, cool loving Mommy for a lucky baby!
30 June, 2006
i would imagine that being pregnant would bring up all sorts of stuff. the letting go of so much of your youth and history while preparing for the changes and blessing ahead. i love that you honor that time and those years with the sweet belly ring, yet celebrate its removal. so funny how the small details in life, like getting a belly ring, or moving on from doc martins, mean so very much.
03 July, 2006
We've been through so much together! Sometimes I wish we were still at a point in our lives where we could go dancing all the time (and had the energy to stay up all night like that), but I'm also so excited to be where we are in our lives and to still be sharing our lives with each other. So, cheers to getting older and to all the life experiences we still have ahead to share!
XOXO
03 July, 2006
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