Green-eyed monster

"Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another."
Marquis de Condorcet (1743 - 1794)

This is something I have a hard time with. Yesterday was a hard day for me and I feel guilty even stating why. I started the day catching up on friends' blogs. Kelly's blog overflowed with the flush of her success in LA and the world of possibility and potential that she has opened up through her art. Kat's blog beamed with pride at the success of her friends who are being written up in national magazines and being nominated for Academy Awards. And me? While marveling at the wonderful worlds my friends are inhabiting, my own spirit felt a little diminished at what I have not done and am not doing, sad that I'm not one of Kat's friends getting an Oscar nomination and with each passing year watching that dream get further and further away rather than closer. Pessimistic? Perhaps. Realistic? I hate to say yes because it feels like giving up the dream and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. It's a dream that is harder to pursue now that I'm a mother. Of course, then I ask myself "what kind of dream is that, anyway? What is it motivated by?" There have been days when I look at Theo and think, "He is by far my proudest accomplishment" and hopefully I will continue to do right by him and help him grow up to be a good, happy human being. What's more important than that? Speaking of which, he's waking up now so this post must be abbreviated.