Happy Birthday, Uncle Ralphie!

Yesterday was Ralph's birthday so we went over to Ralph and Karen's place for a little pre-party party. Ralph was warming up his sound system when we arrived so he introduced Theo to the wonders of the DJ booth. Thanks Uncle Ralphie and Happy Birthday!

Reflections on the NYC public school system

Yesterday was my first day in a New York City public school. I am a teaching artist with American Place Theatre and as a way to ease me into things after being out of the loop for so long I was asked to assist another TA in a classroom in the Bronx. I was grateful for the chance to go into a classroom without being responsible for the curriculum. One hears a lot about the schools in this town so I wasn't sure what to expect.

What I found were sweet kids but kids who are nowhere even close to being ready for the world. They are 11th graders - just one year away from high school graduation - and one of them had to ask what the word "poverty" meant. I felt like saying, "it means you end up going to shitty schools, getting a lousy education and getting stuck in a vicious cycle of never being able to rise above your current circumstances." But almost worse than the poor vocabulary was the immaturity and inability to articulate. Sure, they are teenagers and we are guest teachers, and perhaps my perception is skewed because my own public high school experience was so stellar, but I felt sad for the future of this country because we have let down our children by providing them with sub-standard education. No Child Left Behind, my ass. How about spending the billions they managed to find for an unjust war on some schools? How about raising teacher salaries so that people want to become teachers so schools can afford to hire only the good applicants and not just fill in the slots vacated by those who have been burned out? I am spending a lot of time thinking about this and trying to figure out what to do about it. I know plenty of people with way more experience and knowledge are doing the same thing but I want to figure out what I can do.

Reflections on Mother's Day

Does anyone else note the irony here that it is four days after Mother's Day and I am only just now getting around to writing about it? My first Mother's Day was a great one. Theo woke up at his customary 6am but after I nursed him Rich took him then before I knew it, Rich was coming back to bed while Theo took his morning nap (usually about 1-1.5 hours after he wakes up) and then next thing I knew Theo was waking up again and it was 9am! I love Mother's Day.

After coffee and breakfast we took our new jogging stroller out for a spin. This stroller is a joint Mother's Day/early Father's Day gift. Now that the weather is nicer and Theo is old enough, we can get an exercise plan in motion. For me, it's about getting motivated again. For Rich, it's a chance to take the baby out and get exercise in the process. Theo is still getting used to his new digs but he crashed out in it before we got home on Sunday so I think that's a good sign.

We ate lunch while Theo napped and when he woke up we got ice cream and took him to the playground. Before I knew it it was dinner/bath/bed time and we had the rest of the night to ourselves. It was such a good day I was sad that it was over.

The past week I have been working on focusing on finding/asking for some "me" time. I have been to yoga three times in the past week (once with Theo which was interesting) and am planning on going tonight. I feel so much better after class - rejuvenated, lighter and less creaky - so I am determined to maintain the habit. Getting myself running will be a much harder task, not only because I am not a great runner, but because I have to figure out the best time to do it with Theo's schedule. Do I time it so that he naps during the run or when he is more awake? If I do it during nap time will he then start needing the stroller for naps? Will he always associate the stroller with naps so he'll fall asleep in it even when I don't want him to? In the big picture, not complicated questions, but things that are easy to fret about when one has dedicated as much time as I have to getting my child on a good sleep schedule.

Tag, I'm it

Kelly tagged me to write seven quirky things about myself so here goes:

1. I hate tomatoes. While I don't think this is particularly odd - because they are disgusting - other people seem to think me strange. However, throughout life I have uncovered a friendly group of like-minded people and we cling together for safety when out to dinner together. One quirk about this hatred, I do like tomato-based products such as sauce (as long as it doesn't have tomato chunks in it) and even sun-dried tomatoes.

2. I also don't like feet. With the exception of my son and sometimes my husband, I just don't like feet touching me. I don't know why but I think they are kind of gross. Perhaps I was from Asia in a previous life (where the feet are considered dirty and it's very rude to wear shoes in the house or temple and certainly never put your feet on another person). That being said, I think I have really pretty feet.

3. I'm a little OCD about tidyness but not really cleanliness. Clutter makes me crazy and I spend a lot of time organizing things into piles but it takes a lot of effort for me to get around to actually filing those piles and I seem to be able to tolerate a dusty desk or a dirty bathroom despite really wanting them to be clean. I need a housekeeper and then all will be well with the world.

4. I have a few grammatical hang-ups. It makes me cringe when people misuse the words "good" and "well". Also, when people use adjectives where one should use an adverb, I say a silent "ly" to correct them. For example: Person X: "He is walking so slow!" Clare (in her head): "ly. Slowly".

5. I have no imagination in the kitchen. When I cook, I have to follow a recipe to the detail. I go through spurts of getting really excited about trying new recipes but then when they don't turn out well I get bitter and twisted about it and we eat pasta and sauce for awhile until I can find the cooking love again.

6. I have really bad gums. Perhaps this isn't quirky, but I don't know anyone else who has such bad gums except, well, my parents (thanks guys). I floss regularly, I use an electric toothbrush, I wear my nightguard, I go to the dentist regularly and I have even started using mouthwash, yet every time I go to the dentist I get scolded for my bad gums. I have actually cried in the dentist's office, not out of pain, but out of frustration.

7. I love lipstick. I search the earth for the perfect lipstick. I have lots of lipstick in similar shades because one dries out my lips, another turns too orange or too pink, etc. But I love buying lipstick and the quest for the perfect one.

Alright. There you have it. I'm sure I will think of a dozen more throughout the day.

Brother, can you spare the time?

Since having Theo I have pretty much stopped wearing my watch because it's hard and I don't want to hurt him with it. So, I rely on my cell phone to tell me the time. But, as is the case for most of us, I occasionally forget my phone. Now, I am a very punctual person so I am a little obsessed with always knowing what time it is. Throw a baby into that personality type, and I have to know how long it's been since he last ate, slept, etc. so I can make sure I am responding to his needs correctly. Funny enough, people in New York seem to be possessive of their ability to tell time, even to a young mother with an adorable baby. This morning was an instance of forgetting my phone. I was trying to make it to the library for story time which starts at 11am. On my way there I noticed a shopkeeper opening up and I spotted a large watch on his wrist. Perfect. I politely asked him for the time and he gruffly told it to without even looking at me. Okey dokey then. However, my favorite story is the time I took the wrong subway with Theo strapped onto me in the carrier. It was getting late and I knew he would be hungry soon. There I was standing on the platform waiting for the train to backtrack my way from Queens (ugh) when I saw a businessman and his watch. I said "Excuse me, do you have the time?" He said "no, sorry" and walked away down the platform. I thought, wow, does he think I can't see his watch? Maybe he's agoraphobic and doesn't deal well with strangers. Then it occurred to me: I think he thinks I said "do you have a dime?" I laughed to myself when I realized that and then I quickly became humbled, embarrassed and then ashamed. I had a glimpse into what it must feel like to have to ask strangers for money and to be blown off so pointedly. It was a new experience for me and one I clearly have not forgotten. I saw Ellen Burstyn being interviewed once and she talked about being homeless while researching a role. She said the thing that made her so sad was when a woman gave her money but didn't look her in the eye. She said it made her feel sub-human. Every since then I make an effort to look those asking me for money in the eye even though I am telling them "no, sorry". And, the next person I asked for the time, I said "Can you tell me what time it is?"